Not A Real Post, Just Selling My Soul

<a href="http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/13528955/?claim=xddwyx8ws6z">Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

That is a code to register my code on Bloglovin.com.


As much as this besmirches the clearly impeccable image that my blog already holds, it must be done because actually I do just want this blog to make me feel successful and important.


If you are reading this after seeing my blog on bloglovin, then clearly I am some sort of blog Richard Branson and this was an awesome idea. Please don't think that this post represents my blog though... there's usually some sort of picture or fact or narrative.


If you are reading this because you read my blog anyway... I said this wasn't a real post... what are you even doing? You should go think about what you are doing with your day. Go get some cereal or something.


Actually thank you, you are clearly my most important readers (I will create a new second class status for all readers who find my blog through my own shameless self promotion... with blurred pictures or something).


I made the movie poster for Shark Gump... but you won't know what that is without reading my older posts Bloglovin joiners. This is for the originals, they're one step ahead of you already! Sort your game out Blogloviners!


Ok I'll stop now before I destroy any benefit this entire venture may have had.

UPDATE: The blog has now sold out even more and has a Facebook page  (facebook.com/DangerMusicHelps). I am essentially Maroon 5

A Game of Shark

Who needs board games or video games when you can just imagine things and laugh at them?

I give you the game of SHARK!

[Note: I did not create this game, nor do I know who did, it was introduced to me by a friend who had it introduced to them. I assume this chain continues back to the first caveman with a film collection and a grasp of the word shark. Bless that man]

The object of the game is to cause as much laughter as possible by taking the name of a film and replacing a single word with the word 'shark', and then imagining how hilariously strange the resulting film would be. This has been tried with many words but trail and error has confirmed that indeed 'shark' is the funniest. 

You can give multiple outcomes of using shark in a film, it is amazing how varied a result you will get.

For example:

'Forrest Shark' is a horror film following a group of scouts who are one by one hunted down by a bloodthirsty monster. This turns out to be a Forrest Shark, a monstrous shark which grew legs and took to the trees because of global warming.

Whereas 'Shark Gump' is a charming and heart-braking tale about a shark born with a simple demeanor and weak legs. Following his life through being a college football star, Vietnam war hero, drinker of fifteen Dr.Peppers, ping pong/ diplomacy champion, extreme marathon runner, slogan inspirer, shrimpin' boat captain, Lawnmower captain, giver of chocolates and watcher-of-feathers.

Here are some of my favourites:

Charlie and the Shark Factory : When the other kids wander off FREAKIN SHARKS! What did you expect kids its a fucking shark factory! Now your dead! Why are there tickets to this!?

Shark Matrix : Thousands of sharks for some reason form a huge deadly mesh known as the 'Shark Matrix' and start consuming shipping. A team of scientists led by Jeff Goldblum is sent to investigate.

Eternal Shark of the Spotless Mind : A journey inside Jim Carreys head... which is full of sharks.

The Lost Shark: Jurassic Park : Think 'Baby's Big Day Out'. Following an adorable young shark Rupert on an adventure of discovery and mischief as he loses his parents and finds himself lost in Jurassic Park. The colon denotes that this is part of a series of films, perhaps a straight-to-DVD crossover sequel.

Shark and Mrs. Smith : A steamy romance about a woman affair with a shark

The Shawshank Shark : The strange story of 'Andy', the inmates name for a shark who was arrested and sent to Shawshank after being framed for eating his wife. And how he copes in prison as a shark. (this film title also gets bonus points for being fun to say)

X-Men: The Last Shark: A feature length documentary following the X-Men as they track down and attempt to save the last remaining shark. Presumably mutant activities have almost wiped them out.

Man on Shark : The story of a man who trained his whole life to join Cirque Du Soliel with his shark riding act.

Shark on Fire : A disturbing four hour long art film.

Lets all play Shark! Let me know your best ones