Saturday 9 May 2015

Harry Is On A Swashbuckling Adventure And Doesn't Have Time For You

Ahoy mateys. Ye may be wondering in which murky depths I have been hiding.


Well never ye fear! Those of me harteys blessed with eagle eyes will have spotted on the bow of my blog that I am now an unsuccessful marine biologist who actually occasionally does do some work as a marine biologist... in Kent.... yar.


Ye will also notice that I have started talking in a manner which reflects my outstandingly full and shiny maritime beard! In which I can stash my shellfish, gull eggs and stolen dabloons.




I'll stop now.


I was planning on bringing my Bamboo tablet to complete some drawings for future posts but unfortunately I forgot... that's it... I just forgot. Not everything can be exciting, especially in Kent.


This includes the picture which I owe Eve Estelle for being the first to comment on my blog. (By the way, Eve Estelle is a rather talented poet and any fans of poetry should check out her blog at eveofnight.blogspot.co.uk) She ordered a picture of an owl but due to the long wait and the fact that I have drawn an owl on here before... the picture now also contains a significant portion of Andy MacDowell. As well as a tale about fog youths and a reminder that I still haven't written a post about a crispy duck.


I'm now going to talk you through a picture that was in my head but I can't draw it because I have nothing to draw it with. This blog is reaching for new frontiers!


I could be in Kent for between a week or a month but normal posting service will resume in time. I'm on night shifts and irregular days which is weird. It means that when I'm not working I end up awake all night watching early morning television. There's this new girl on BBC 3 or 4 or 5, I forget, that essentially goes on holiday taking a tour of all the best places to buy drugs, talking to dealers and cooks (usually in their own secret kitchen hideout) and finding out how they make the drugs and how much you can sell them for. She then leaves and hopes that the police can somehow find that hideout if only someone knew where it was.


One of the jungle drugs palace / tent hideouts was protected by bees, I thought coincidentally. But it turns out no they actually get some bees and put them around the hideout to scare people away. I couldn't help wonder how this bee collection and delivery system worked. Can you pay-per-bee? If I wanted to defend something small and precious like my favorite pencil or my penis can I just park one bee on there?


How do you get the bees to obey you? Someone... most likely you... is going to have to open the parcel of bees when it arrives. God forbid an unsuspecting curious relative feels the urge to open your buzzing box (you can laugh at buzzing box) and ends up with a swarm of African killer bees straight to the face.


Does a parcel of bees weigh anything if all the bees are flying? (yes)



There's a picture in there somewhere, until I return from the high seas I am going to require many of you to up your game and use your imagination. By the way if anyone ever starts a honey/bee business or is tempted to buy honey/bees, please use the phrase pay-per-bee at some point as it tickles me awfully.


This post lost all structure a while ago... I'll finish with this beautiful photo from Kent.



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