Message 1: Remember last time when I said that the next post will be called 'A Crispy Duck' ?
"The next post will be entitled 'A Crispy Duck' if that clarifies this blogs place in internetland any better."
See... I did say that.
Well clearly that was a lie.... but I was not to know at the time.
Essentially it has been three weeks since my last post. I came back today to start working on my next post and my notes for the next post simply consists of :
"A Crispy Duck : Remember that time with the crispy duck?!? "
Now I have no doubt there is an incident with a crispy duck... it may even be hilarious. But with my current amount of notes I have no idea what it is.
I assure you, for the sake of my integrity assuming I have gained some, the second I remember what it was you shall have your crispy post.
Message 2: I drove to Blackburn (or Blackb'n as it is known locally) over the weekend on a particularly foggy night in order to pick up a drum kit for a friend. As we arrived we noticed that we had stumbled upon a phenomenon that the locals of Blackb'n refer to as 'Fog Youths'.
Fog Youths are the result of a rare process (known only in Blackb'n) by which bands of youths are able to condense out of thick fog and then proceed to wander the streets of Blackb'n aimlessly. Presumably until they reach something to vandalize, or a high street sports clothing outlet, or the Blackb'n city limits, at which point they with evaporate and return to the fog.
It is for this reason that the citizens of Blackb'n go to great lengths to ensure that their home is airtight. Fog Youths are quite capable of entering under doorways, down chimneys or through windows left on vent, condensing in your living room ... and stealing your telly.
Meteorologists will tell you that Fog Youths are caused when a cold rebellious Scottish air front travels south and mixes with a warm air front emanating from the entrance of the Blackb'n branch of JD sports. This mixture reacts in a way that involves many big important words that I wont bore you with, producing the thick magical fog of Blackb'n.
Now... obviously these were just regular youths on a foggy Blackb'n night, with only semi-criminal tendencies. But it's a strange effect that anything appearing out of dense fog at night is instantly 286% more intimidating and somewhat magical. Even things that you would usually enjoy seeing become terrifying. Like if I bumped into my pet rabbit on a foggy night.
Message 3: One person has managed to not be an asshole and actually commented on my posts! (Love you really non-commenters..... just less....) Eve Estelle has therefore won herself a picture! Just to show you all that good things happen for people who DO AS I SAY! (phase 1: berate/abuse , phase 2 : encourage/reward) Eve chose to receive a picture of an Owl.. but I kind of already drew an Owl on here.... so for a bonus I made a poem too
So here is an Owl with jowls wearing a towel and a cowl.
It's standing next to Andie Macdowell with a strange scowl.
Who ate something fowl whilst out on the prowl and upset her irritable bowl.
The Owl has unwittingly stepped on a trowel which caused it to yowl in pain.
Hence the long stream of vowels.
The Owls name is..... Raul.... but you say it like it rhymes with owl....
LOL! What a great picture.. the poem just tops it all off. Thank you Harry! ;) Made my night. You certainly do draw a pretty mean owl, as you said. And YES about the fog - anything that pops out at you, even if it's an inanimate object, like a road sign or something, is just ten times as creepy.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you're like me, I'm afraid your crispy duck post may be a total loss lol.. I absolutely hate taking notes, on anything. I write a sentence or two, come back later, "What the hell does that mean?"